Firstly, I feel that Orlando Bloom should keep practicing his marksman skills and protecting a hobbit dude with a shiny ring. If he tries anything other than that, he tends to suck. And Kirsten Dunst can act like an idiot wonderfully - but is she acting? Who knows…
We sat and watched Elizabethtown on Saturday evening after a wonderful meal at Bamba Bistro for our 365.25-day anniversary. Meal was fantastic, and the bill was downright..not fantastic, but I had no qualms about paying it - great dinner.
So back to Elizabethtown, the story of a shoe designer that becomes a rather sizable failure by designing a shoe that, much like Bloom’s acting - sucks. Bloom can’t convince me he’s American with his accent. There were times when his pronunciation cracked and his British accent was just a bit too much - poor chap! Anyway, Kirsten Dunst plays a brain-damaged flight attendant on a plane that Bloom is on due to his Father’s death in Kentucky. I pretty much thought of his movie as a half-assed, unrealistic Garden State - one of my top movies (Blues Brothers , btw, is the best movie evah).
The movie could have ended in about…60 minutes. Bloom meets Dunst, is taken aback by her stupidity, meets his gargantuan Kentuuuucky family, checks into a hotel and ends up talking to Dunst on his cell for the entire evening. The script called for a pointless, lengthy and mundane road trip that Bloom takes from Kentuuucky to Oregon (or Calif..iono) and Dunst organizes a book full of photos and crap for him to follow along his way (where the hell did she get time to do this?!).
The movie left me rather annoyed at both Bloom and Dunst. Thank god Alec Baldwin had a cameo - and a good one at that. It was very early in the film though and it left me missing it by the time the blasted road trip occurred.
The shining star in the movie was the score - filled with wonderful songs from a range of artists - Petty, Elton John, The Temptations and a few others that I don’t recall. There are two volumes to the soundtrack too! - Check it out.
To Mr. Bloom - Here’s to hoping there’s a new LOTR movie…not sure you can do anything else.
To Ms. Dunst - You actually have me convinced that very little acting was required when the script called for a "Really mental Kentuuucky Girl"
To the dude/chick that did the music - You turned a crap film into a crap film with a great score, well done!
This concludes my first attempt at a very crass and harsh movie review, woo!
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